haa..i tink tis is turning into my blog leh..muahaha..or more like wat i told yt..its turning into my dumping ground..hmm..dunno if dat's good or bad..

anyway..haven had such enjoyable dinner in a long time..HtG always make me realise the meaning of wat they mean by companion means more than de food or watever other material stuff there is..dunno if tonight's dinner was a budget 1..but i knoe i enjoyed it..from the bottom of my heart..thanks pple! =)

acty tonight's dinner was meant to celebrate yc's birthday..but end up he not free..faintz..den kenny had to go visit his aunt and baby cousin..so end up 5 of us..chaneng and timothy were free!that's rare..hee..but really glad to see them after so long..had a laughing good time during dinner at crystal jade ramen xiao long bao in suntec..i'm sorry chaneng..for "stealing" ur hp..making u look for it frantically..hehe..sorry to kiu for getting whacked for sth dat u din do..but it showed sth..its de pple la..haha..dat's y chaneng din suspect me or yt..but targetted tim and kiu right from the start..den de part we chatted bout kenny..wow wow wow!it was quite an amazing conversation..though none of us is sure how much of it is true and reliable info..haha..

dessert was yummy! fondue..oh my..choc and ice cream..both my favourite..with fruits..oiishi! i was wondering whether it was predestined dat we wud go to mini toons b4 dinner..so dat we could buy the marshmallows to dip in de choc..hehe..marshmallows..another of my fav..tink tonight's dinner was juz yummy beyond words..hehe..i wud wanna go Marina Square Food Court for dessert again..and i wanna sit outside de next time round..to enjoy the night view..long time since i went to see the night scene by the river le..wondering when will be the next time..

kiu bought FHM! it was like wow! never imagined..but i guessed he bought it to see the ranking of the 100 sexiest female of the years..hmm..steph song is really hot..so i guess she deserves the title..

dun really hav much things to say..juz wanted to blog..to show how much i appreciated the dinner tonight..really treasure the companion of u guys..there's always this invisible source of mental strength from u guys..that help tide thru all difficulties..Luv ya guys! =) *Hugz*

shuqin | 11:27 PM

i guess tonight was not really a good night..ok night?perhaps..but i tink its ok more on the negative side..
okie..there were good news today..de fact that i got into Banking&Finance for my business specialisation..but i tink dat was the only thing to get me happy..maybe plus de fact that i'm back in singapore ba..

sumtimes i tink too much curiosity is really bad more than good..always wanted to knoe some stuff..got to knoe it 1st hand tonight..but the answers are not exactly those tat will delight me..on the other hand..i tink i'm kinda saddened by them..though its not de 1st time dat tis has happened..still..i guess it still takes time before the feeling fades..

someone once asked me when do i stop liking a person..i din knoe how to ans..but i tink i knoe the ans now..its when i knoe there wun be any chance of development..when the hope dies down..and the feelings fade..it seems like an automatic process..juz that de diff part in this whole process..is ensuring that no frenship gets lost in de process..its sumthing i gotta try hard now..cos things juz wun be the same..

i'm beginning to tink i'm really quite strong emotionally..dunno how i acty manage to give advise despite feeling miserable..or maybe at tis pt in time..all i want is to help and make him happy..dat's y personal feelings come 2nd..and it doesn't hurt dat much at that pt in time..now dat its all quiet ard me..acty..it does feels kinda sad..but i believe this will pass..its quite a relief acty..knowing dat all de doubts hav been clear..i juz want him to be happy now..

was talking to a fren bout love..haha..wat an apt topic for tonight right..we were discussing our opinions on love..he feels dat it shd be unconditional..not dat i disagree..but i believe there shd always be give and take in all relationships..only then will the relationship be able to last..its tiring to be giving all the time..and if one is always recieving..he/she will not knoe the true meaning of love..and may take it for granted..

everyone hav diff definitions for love..in the different expectations dat we hav..some will want their partners to be calling everyday..some juz need the ocassional care and concern..love can be so simple yet complicated..

the self defence mechanism builds up after each time..at least dat's in my case..there this subconscious thing about protecting oneself from possible hurt..there will always be the concern bout whether this will work out..and how long will it last..there juz a thousand and 1 qns going thru my mind each time..i'm glad for these qns this time round..they stopped me from committing a mistake that might otherwise hav caused me embarassment..at least now we can remain frens..i'm contented..=)

i tink tis is retribution leh..wat goes round..comes ard..haha..

shuqin | 12:55 AM

watched xmen with st3 and kiu today..de show was not bad..liked it quite alot..although only 1 and half hr..it felt longer den that..and i like storm!she's so cool! wahaha..wonder wat's wrong with cyclops and wolverine..prefer jean grey to storm..bad taste! haha..i'm juz mumbling some crap..ignore me..iceman quite cool also..like de way he dealt with fireboy..fireboy too arrogant le la..tink his fire very powerful..no no..

after dat went PC fair with both of them..met kenny there..PC fair is madness! u really move by inch in there..getting from 1 booth to the next is 1 ardous task..buying things is another 1..the queues..if those are even considered 1..are scary..tink we managed to get some good bargains there..including YC's pressie..but..his pressie abit small..tink shd add things on..if not very pathetic..maybe during the next outing..when we watch The Omen?haha..yt been asking whether we wanna watch tis show..i dun mind..reminds me abit of emily rose though..hope it is not as eerie..

back to the PC fair..i bought a laptop cooler pad..like finally..been telling myself to treat my laptop better..finally..next on for my lappie..shall be a nicer mouse..hehe..but dat can wait..my present mouse and touchpad still working wel..*touch wood*..hopes it stays that way..helped my sis got a thumbdrive too..wahz..hers has bigger memory space but is cheaper la! UNFAIR! yt bought thumbdrive and cooler pad..kiu bought mini SD..kenny bought webcams..heee..=) 1st time i bought sth at PC fair..tink its really good bargain..beginning to understand y so many pple go for it..might decide to go for the next one..if i had sth in mind which i wanna buy..MP3 player?wait till then den see ba..

shuqin | 8:30 PM

juz came back from Patrina's wake..she looked like she was juz sleeping..no signs of having left us forever..read her obituary..wilson was described as her angel..its both sweet and saddening at the same time..saw him there too..i can only say he is strong..or maybe he was prepared for the worst..dat's y he can handle it so well..or maybe..its juz a strong front he is putting up..

i admit i was never close to Patrina..wud say that there was a period of time dat i even disliked her..but still..its saddening..tinking of how she will never get the chance to fulfil watever dreams she ever had..but at the same time..maybe she can be considered blessed..to hav a family and bf that loved her and stayed with her thru the worst time of her life..she probably had them by her side when she left too..may she rest in peace..

tis visit to her wake today made me tink alot again..made me wonder y is it dat i always meet up with the guides at such ocassions?the last being xl's wake..haiz..y?

lynette wee said we hav all grown up..and she said she dun wanna grow up..i agree with both statements..we have grown..since we left DHS..and i dun wanna grow up..it sux leh..tinking that i'm gonna turn 20 soon..haiz..sumtimes i juz wish time will standstill..maybe things are not perfect at the moment..but i'm contented and happy..dat's enough..isn't it?

i realised i can make frens easily..but i dun keep frens..u get wat i mean?as in my frens come in stages..they come and leave..frenship with HTG is probably the longest i hav ever maintained..5 yrs..and its alr the longest..sad..meeting up with the guides today made me realise i can make frens easily..but developing into close frens is another matter..keeping the frenship going is yet another matter altogether..tink my close frens really countable with my 2 hands..less than 10..pathetic hor?

i feel guilty..i wondered is it me dat is the problem?me not being active enough to take the effort to chat with all the frens online..is it really dat diff to say hi..ask how are u doing?or is it me..dat is juz too plain lazy..i tink its me..does it really take up so much time to meet up with frens once in a while?are there really other things that are more impt?or is it i juz dun want to meet up with them?yet again..it seems like the last is the ans..conclusion..i tink i'm a lousy fren leh..

these 2 days are random tots days..been tinking alot..but mostly negative tots..quite terrible..but i guess these random tots will teach me to chersh pple ard me more..not to take them for granted..not to be so 斤斤计较..life is juz give and take..dun need to take everything so seriously..

lost my train of tots le..juz jumbled up tots in me now..maybe when i'm inspired again..i'll share my tots here again..=)

shuqin | 11:30 PM

okie..dun ask me y..but i juz tot that tis might be the place for me to pen my tots down..maybe it is cos i tink i wanna share my tots with HTG..or maybe..i juz feel that tis is a safe place for me to share my tots..

been a long time since i last kept in touch with huiyi..de last time i saw her in person was probably 1 mth ago..when i saw her at cityhall MRT..chat with her for awhile dat time..but i guess it was a weird meeting..cos i was with my JC classmates and she was with her JC classmates..juz not the right time to catch up with each other i guess..de most recent time we contacted each other was on tues..when she smsed me to tell me that samuel chan is going to australia for a yr or so..asking whether i wanted to go and send him off on wed morn..if only it was in de evening..i would hav went..but it was at 715 in de morn..i could not make it..cos of work..at dat moment..i felt guilty..for abandoning a fren for work..a fren i called gor..haiz..guilty for having drifted apart after we went separate ways after sec sch..made me tink of the times we spent together in guides and scouts..reminded me of xl..

today..huiyi smsed me again..shocked me with the msg..it was regarding patrina's death..it was sudden news..i never even hear anything bout it before today..had totally no idea y she left us..after asking her..realised she had cancer..and tis time round..she lost to the illness in a relapse..it was more of shock..not sadness..maybe cos i was never close to her in the 1st place..so i din feel the stinging pain of losing a fren..the news settled in slowly..and it started me thinking..made me think alot..and that's de reason for this entry..

patrina's departure made me realise..life is really fragile..recently..there has been so much news about pple losing the battle against cancer..it shows dat cancer can strike everyone..it doesn't care if u're young or old..both xl and patrina fought against the disease..both won it once..and lost it the 2nd time..de unpredicability of life..we dun win all the time..winning once doesn't mean that we will win it again..we wun always be that lucky to have a 2nd chance at things..as for life..how many pple will acty get a chance to escape death and get to live it again?

2nd chance..what if there is no 2nd chance?i keep tinking bout tis qn today..have i ever missed sth and wished that there will be a 2nd chance for me to do whatever i want?if the 2nd chance never came..will it always remain a regret in my life?was tinking..wat is the biggest regret i will have if i never had a 2nd chance at things..i guess..it will be not having told those ard me how much they mean to me..even if they had only appeared in my life for a short while..maybe we hav never developed into close frens..maybe we were juz acquaitances..maybe we were always at loggerheads with each other..but i'm sure..they have all impacted the way i live..frens have brought joy and laughter to my life..those that i always bickered with would hav added some spice to my boring day once in awhile..

yupz..wanna tell pple how much i treasure their appearance in my life..no matter how short it is..but always find it hard to say it when i hav the chance..cos to me..telling someone how much they mean to u is sth so mushy..and i guess i was never brought up as 1 who is good at expressing feelings..haha..i guess the pple i hav told so far..is HTG..and prob some good frens here and there..those dat talk to me when i'm in the sentimental mood..i knoe not many pple will get to read this..but to all those tat i know and comes across this entry..thanks for appearing in my life..i really appreciate it!

other den making me ponder about 2nd chance..i also wondered..will contentment reduce the amt of regrets we hav?知足常乐..that's wat they always say..is it true?hmm..started looking back..was tinking wat are the biggest achievements at my diff stages of life..

starting from my 1st yr in uni..i tink my greatest accomplishment would hav been participation in my hall's cheerleading team..when i 1st joined..it was with a mentality of helping out..since i'm de smallest size in hall..and according to them..so suitable for cheerleading..so juz join lor..but after months of training..i fell in love with it..it became a passion..i looked forward to the training sessions..and i got pissed with myself when i could not do the stunts well..although we din get to compete at the interhall competition tis yr..the team spirit and support from each other really touched me..it really showed me the imptance of teamwork..and how encouragement can help each other along the way..the cheer day performance will always be a pride and joy of Unisus i tink..the images of everyone cheering after the performance is still so vivid in my mind..dun regret joining it at all..in fact..i'm looking forward to the coming cheerleading trainings tis yr..=)

okie..moving on to JC..i can't really tink of any major achievements..or accomplishments..does results count?acty in my opinion..results are lousy achievements..haha..dunno leh..i'm self contradicting..always working hard to get good results..but dun consider them as major achievements..if results were to be counted..den maybe i wud tink dat getting an A2 for GP is a good achievement..my english has never been good..and thanks to Mrs Noordin..an A2 was beyond my expectations..i only wanted a B3..i tink i owe her a big thanks..really glad i hugged her on results day..at least i showed my gratitude..i dun consider this an achievement..but i tink i've grown up quite abit in the JC days..in the mental sense..matured ba..it was a period of mental training for me..i wun deny that my JC days were one of my worse days i hav had in my close to 20 yrs of living..everyday in sch was living behind a mask..and for those days..i'm really grateful to Eugene..for always being there..helping me along unknowningly..

okie..backtrack to sec sch days..major achievements? i marvel at myself when i tink back bout those guiding days..those trainings..wonder how did i take it..though they were tough..i learnt alot thru it..the tower we built for orientation..oh my..it will always be part of my pride too..those fun days..my fren juz asked me..if i had the chance to go back in time..which period do i want to go back to..and i knew straightaway..my ans would be the sec sch days..cos i miss those days..it was fun..yet fulfilling..fighting along with everyone for our goals..to get into the JCs of our choice..and it was during those days..dat i met u guys..and formed this frenship..counting back..it has alr been 5 yrs..is dat long or short?i dunno..but 1 thing i knoe..i want tis frenship to last forever if possible..

there's so many things i wanna say..so many thoughts provoked tonight..but there's so little time i have..oh yah..i juz realised..this is a lousy excuse used by myself..to make myself feel better for the many things i could hav done but never did..cos i dun hav time..wat a lame excuse..but here i am..using it again..okie..i admit..i'm juz plain lazy..lazy to pen my tots down to words at this very moment..

if i rmb..i will write them down here the next time round..till them..take care pple..i miss u guys..till i see u again! =) dun wait for the right time..cos there's never the right time..dun give up a chance..cos there may never be a 2nd chance..

shuqin | 11:04 PM

haa..i tink tis is turning into my blog leh..muahaha..or more like wat i told yt..its turning into my dumping ground..hmm..dunno if dat's good or bad..

anyway..haven had such enjoyable dinner in a long time..HtG always make me realise the meaning of wat they mean by companion means more than de food or watever other material stuff there is..dunno if tonight's dinner was a budget 1..but i knoe i enjoyed it..from the bottom of my heart..thanks pple! =)

acty tonight's dinner was meant to celebrate yc's birthday..but end up he not free..faintz..den kenny had to go visit his aunt and baby cousin..so end up 5 of us..chaneng and timothy were free!that's rare..hee..but really glad to see them after so long..had a laughing good time during dinner at crystal jade ramen xiao long bao in suntec..i'm sorry chaneng..for "stealing" ur hp..making u look for it frantically..hehe..sorry to kiu for getting whacked for sth dat u din do..but it showed sth..its de pple la..haha..dat's y chaneng din suspect me or yt..but targetted tim and kiu right from the start..den de part we chatted bout kenny..wow wow wow!it was quite an amazing conversation..though none of us is sure how much of it is true and reliable info..haha..

dessert was yummy! fondue..oh my..choc and ice cream..both my favourite..with fruits..oiishi! i was wondering whether it was predestined dat we wud go to mini toons b4 dinner..so dat we could buy the marshmallows to dip in de choc..hehe..marshmallows..another of my fav..tink tonight's dinner was juz yummy beyond words..hehe..i wud wanna go Marina Square Food Court for dessert again..and i wanna sit outside de next time round..to enjoy the night view..long time since i went to see the night scene by the river le..wondering when will be the next time..

kiu bought FHM! it was like wow! never imagined..but i guessed he bought it to see the ranking of the 100 sexiest female of the years..hmm..steph song is really hot..so i guess she deserves the title..

dun really hav much things to say..juz wanted to blog..to show how much i appreciated the dinner tonight..really treasure the companion of u guys..there's always this invisible source of mental strength from u guys..that help tide thru all difficulties..Luv ya guys! =) *Hugz*

shuqin | 11:27 PM

i guess tonight was not really a good night..ok night?perhaps..but i tink its ok more on the negative side..
okie..there were good news today..de fact that i got into Banking&Finance for my business specialisation..but i tink dat was the only thing to get me happy..maybe plus de fact that i'm back in singapore ba..

sumtimes i tink too much curiosity is really bad more than good..always wanted to knoe some stuff..got to knoe it 1st hand tonight..but the answers are not exactly those tat will delight me..on the other hand..i tink i'm kinda saddened by them..though its not de 1st time dat tis has happened..still..i guess it still takes time before the feeling fades..

someone once asked me when do i stop liking a person..i din knoe how to ans..but i tink i knoe the ans now..its when i knoe there wun be any chance of development..when the hope dies down..and the feelings fade..it seems like an automatic process..juz that de diff part in this whole process..is ensuring that no frenship gets lost in de process..its sumthing i gotta try hard now..cos things juz wun be the same..

i'm beginning to tink i'm really quite strong emotionally..dunno how i acty manage to give advise despite feeling miserable..or maybe at tis pt in time..all i want is to help and make him happy..dat's y personal feelings come 2nd..and it doesn't hurt dat much at that pt in time..now dat its all quiet ard me..acty..it does feels kinda sad..but i believe this will pass..its quite a relief acty..knowing dat all de doubts hav been clear..i juz want him to be happy now..

was talking to a fren bout love..haha..wat an apt topic for tonight right..we were discussing our opinions on love..he feels dat it shd be unconditional..not dat i disagree..but i believe there shd always be give and take in all relationships..only then will the relationship be able to last..its tiring to be giving all the time..and if one is always recieving..he/she will not knoe the true meaning of love..and may take it for granted..

everyone hav diff definitions for love..in the different expectations dat we hav..some will want their partners to be calling everyday..some juz need the ocassional care and concern..love can be so simple yet complicated..

the self defence mechanism builds up after each time..at least dat's in my case..there this subconscious thing about protecting oneself from possible hurt..there will always be the concern bout whether this will work out..and how long will it last..there juz a thousand and 1 qns going thru my mind each time..i'm glad for these qns this time round..they stopped me from committing a mistake that might otherwise hav caused me embarassment..at least now we can remain frens..i'm contented..=)

i tink tis is retribution leh..wat goes round..comes ard..haha..

shuqin | 12:55 AM

watched xmen with st3 and kiu today..de show was not bad..liked it quite alot..although only 1 and half hr..it felt longer den that..and i like storm!she's so cool! wahaha..wonder wat's wrong with cyclops and wolverine..prefer jean grey to storm..bad taste! haha..i'm juz mumbling some crap..ignore me..iceman quite cool also..like de way he dealt with fireboy..fireboy too arrogant le la..tink his fire very powerful..no no..

after dat went PC fair with both of them..met kenny there..PC fair is madness! u really move by inch in there..getting from 1 booth to the next is 1 ardous task..buying things is another 1..the queues..if those are even considered 1..are scary..tink we managed to get some good bargains there..including YC's pressie..but..his pressie abit small..tink shd add things on..if not very pathetic..maybe during the next outing..when we watch The Omen?haha..yt been asking whether we wanna watch tis show..i dun mind..reminds me abit of emily rose though..hope it is not as eerie..

back to the PC fair..i bought a laptop cooler pad..like finally..been telling myself to treat my laptop better..finally..next on for my lappie..shall be a nicer mouse..hehe..but dat can wait..my present mouse and touchpad still working wel..*touch wood*..hopes it stays that way..helped my sis got a thumbdrive too..wahz..hers has bigger memory space but is cheaper la! UNFAIR! yt bought thumbdrive and cooler pad..kiu bought mini SD..kenny bought webcams..heee..=) 1st time i bought sth at PC fair..tink its really good bargain..beginning to understand y so many pple go for it..might decide to go for the next one..if i had sth in mind which i wanna buy..MP3 player?wait till then den see ba..

shuqin | 8:30 PM

juz came back from Patrina's wake..she looked like she was juz sleeping..no signs of having left us forever..read her obituary..wilson was described as her angel..its both sweet and saddening at the same time..saw him there too..i can only say he is strong..or maybe he was prepared for the worst..dat's y he can handle it so well..or maybe..its juz a strong front he is putting up..

i admit i was never close to Patrina..wud say that there was a period of time dat i even disliked her..but still..its saddening..tinking of how she will never get the chance to fulfil watever dreams she ever had..but at the same time..maybe she can be considered blessed..to hav a family and bf that loved her and stayed with her thru the worst time of her life..she probably had them by her side when she left too..may she rest in peace..

tis visit to her wake today made me tink alot again..made me wonder y is it dat i always meet up with the guides at such ocassions?the last being xl's wake..haiz..y?

lynette wee said we hav all grown up..and she said she dun wanna grow up..i agree with both statements..we have grown..since we left DHS..and i dun wanna grow up..it sux leh..tinking that i'm gonna turn 20 soon..haiz..sumtimes i juz wish time will standstill..maybe things are not perfect at the moment..but i'm contented and happy..dat's enough..isn't it?

i realised i can make frens easily..but i dun keep frens..u get wat i mean?as in my frens come in stages..they come and leave..frenship with HTG is probably the longest i hav ever maintained..5 yrs..and its alr the longest..sad..meeting up with the guides today made me realise i can make frens easily..but developing into close frens is another matter..keeping the frenship going is yet another matter altogether..tink my close frens really countable with my 2 hands..less than 10..pathetic hor?

i feel guilty..i wondered is it me dat is the problem?me not being active enough to take the effort to chat with all the frens online..is it really dat diff to say hi..ask how are u doing?or is it me..dat is juz too plain lazy..i tink its me..does it really take up so much time to meet up with frens once in a while?are there really other things that are more impt?or is it i juz dun want to meet up with them?yet again..it seems like the last is the ans..conclusion..i tink i'm a lousy fren leh..

these 2 days are random tots days..been tinking alot..but mostly negative tots..quite terrible..but i guess these random tots will teach me to chersh pple ard me more..not to take them for granted..not to be so 斤斤计较..life is juz give and take..dun need to take everything so seriously..

lost my train of tots le..juz jumbled up tots in me now..maybe when i'm inspired again..i'll share my tots here again..=)

shuqin | 11:30 PM

okie..dun ask me y..but i juz tot that tis might be the place for me to pen my tots down..maybe it is cos i tink i wanna share my tots with HTG..or maybe..i juz feel that tis is a safe place for me to share my tots..

been a long time since i last kept in touch with huiyi..de last time i saw her in person was probably 1 mth ago..when i saw her at cityhall MRT..chat with her for awhile dat time..but i guess it was a weird meeting..cos i was with my JC classmates and she was with her JC classmates..juz not the right time to catch up with each other i guess..de most recent time we contacted each other was on tues..when she smsed me to tell me that samuel chan is going to australia for a yr or so..asking whether i wanted to go and send him off on wed morn..if only it was in de evening..i would hav went..but it was at 715 in de morn..i could not make it..cos of work..at dat moment..i felt guilty..for abandoning a fren for work..a fren i called gor..haiz..guilty for having drifted apart after we went separate ways after sec sch..made me tink of the times we spent together in guides and scouts..reminded me of xl..

today..huiyi smsed me again..shocked me with the msg..it was regarding patrina's death..it was sudden news..i never even hear anything bout it before today..had totally no idea y she left us..after asking her..realised she had cancer..and tis time round..she lost to the illness in a relapse..it was more of shock..not sadness..maybe cos i was never close to her in the 1st place..so i din feel the stinging pain of losing a fren..the news settled in slowly..and it started me thinking..made me think alot..and that's de reason for this entry..

patrina's departure made me realise..life is really fragile..recently..there has been so much news about pple losing the battle against cancer..it shows dat cancer can strike everyone..it doesn't care if u're young or old..both xl and patrina fought against the disease..both won it once..and lost it the 2nd time..de unpredicability of life..we dun win all the time..winning once doesn't mean that we will win it again..we wun always be that lucky to have a 2nd chance at things..as for life..how many pple will acty get a chance to escape death and get to live it again?

2nd chance..what if there is no 2nd chance?i keep tinking bout tis qn today..have i ever missed sth and wished that there will be a 2nd chance for me to do whatever i want?if the 2nd chance never came..will it always remain a regret in my life?was tinking..wat is the biggest regret i will have if i never had a 2nd chance at things..i guess..it will be not having told those ard me how much they mean to me..even if they had only appeared in my life for a short while..maybe we hav never developed into close frens..maybe we were juz acquaitances..maybe we were always at loggerheads with each other..but i'm sure..they have all impacted the way i live..frens have brought joy and laughter to my life..those that i always bickered with would hav added some spice to my boring day once in awhile..

yupz..wanna tell pple how much i treasure their appearance in my life..no matter how short it is..but always find it hard to say it when i hav the chance..cos to me..telling someone how much they mean to u is sth so mushy..and i guess i was never brought up as 1 who is good at expressing feelings..haha..i guess the pple i hav told so far..is HTG..and prob some good frens here and there..those dat talk to me when i'm in the sentimental mood..i knoe not many pple will get to read this..but to all those tat i know and comes across this entry..thanks for appearing in my life..i really appreciate it!

other den making me ponder about 2nd chance..i also wondered..will contentment reduce the amt of regrets we hav?知足常乐..that's wat they always say..is it true?hmm..started looking back..was tinking wat are the biggest achievements at my diff stages of life..

starting from my 1st yr in uni..i tink my greatest accomplishment would hav been participation in my hall's cheerleading team..when i 1st joined..it was with a mentality of helping out..since i'm de smallest size in hall..and according to them..so suitable for cheerleading..so juz join lor..but after months of training..i fell in love with it..it became a passion..i looked forward to the training sessions..and i got pissed with myself when i could not do the stunts well..although we din get to compete at the interhall competition tis yr..the team spirit and support from each other really touched me..it really showed me the imptance of teamwork..and how encouragement can help each other along the way..the cheer day performance will always be a pride and joy of Unisus i tink..the images of everyone cheering after the performance is still so vivid in my mind..dun regret joining it at all..in fact..i'm looking forward to the coming cheerleading trainings tis yr..=)

okie..moving on to JC..i can't really tink of any major achievements..or accomplishments..does results count?acty in my opinion..results are lousy achievements..haha..dunno leh..i'm self contradicting..always working hard to get good results..but dun consider them as major achievements..if results were to be counted..den maybe i wud tink dat getting an A2 for GP is a good achievement..my english has never been good..and thanks to Mrs Noordin..an A2 was beyond my expectations..i only wanted a B3..i tink i owe her a big thanks..really glad i hugged her on results day..at least i showed my gratitude..i dun consider this an achievement..but i tink i've grown up quite abit in the JC days..in the mental sense..matured ba..it was a period of mental training for me..i wun deny that my JC days were one of my worse days i hav had in my close to 20 yrs of living..everyday in sch was living behind a mask..and for those days..i'm really grateful to Eugene..for always being there..helping me along unknowningly..

okie..backtrack to sec sch days..major achievements? i marvel at myself when i tink back bout those guiding days..those trainings..wonder how did i take it..though they were tough..i learnt alot thru it..the tower we built for orientation..oh my..it will always be part of my pride too..those fun days..my fren juz asked me..if i had the chance to go back in time..which period do i want to go back to..and i knew straightaway..my ans would be the sec sch days..cos i miss those days..it was fun..yet fulfilling..fighting along with everyone for our goals..to get into the JCs of our choice..and it was during those days..dat i met u guys..and formed this frenship..counting back..it has alr been 5 yrs..is dat long or short?i dunno..but 1 thing i knoe..i want tis frenship to last forever if possible..

there's so many things i wanna say..so many thoughts provoked tonight..but there's so little time i have..oh yah..i juz realised..this is a lousy excuse used by myself..to make myself feel better for the many things i could hav done but never did..cos i dun hav time..wat a lame excuse..but here i am..using it again..okie..i admit..i'm juz plain lazy..lazy to pen my tots down to words at this very moment..

if i rmb..i will write them down here the next time round..till them..take care pple..i miss u guys..till i see u again! =) dun wait for the right time..cos there's never the right time..dun give up a chance..cos there may never be a 2nd chance..

shuqin | 11:04 PM