"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

"Never explain--your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway."
Thanks for always believing in me.. =)

"A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults."

"With true friends...even water drunk together is sweet enough."
Hey guys..think of us when drinking Tekong water..=P


"A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out."

"A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight, and walks with you in the shadows."

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

"True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Pple take care wor..so that nothing will be lost..

"Of what shall a man be proud, if he is not proud of his friends."
That’s why I’m so proud to have you guys as friends. =D

"Our friends show us what we can do; our enemies teach us what we must do."

"There is no friend like an old friend who has shared our morning days, no greeting like his welcome, no homage like his praise."
So..we should have chalets and stayovers more often..so that we can share more morning days together!

"The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for."
I know that i will die with no regrets for i have come to know you guys..

At the shrine of friendship never say die, let the wine of friendship never run dry."

riendship is like money, easier made than kept."
i’m so glad we managed to keep our friendship going after 4 years..=D

shuqin | 1:18 PM

kenny! you really so scared of stg ar? haha. we are but only sotongs. we know not on purpose one la k..won't blame you one. in fact the revised plan had a better effect..rite, ppl? hehe..yup muz agree had a nice time ytd..listening to all the army talk. sounds so complicated but all guys seem to know it..so i guess it's just stuff that you'll just know when you're in it. like all the jargon we have at work too :D

i guess it's not that we choose to slog at work la. but that really is your job ma. like it or not, it's that volume. die oso muz clear wad..otherwise quit lo. which might not work in some cases cos of contract, ya. so not really within our control.

i stopped here last night. cos i was TOO TIRED. date and time now is 250405, 11:14pm.

of cos, i still am tired now. so i can't recall what i wanted to say. well, some things are better left unsaid, as recommended by LTG!

nice post by sq! though i've most definitely read it somewhere in my emails or sthg. still, never fails to erm..lose its meaningfulness everytime.

argh! i'm not making sense. nites world!

Pebbles | 11:53 PM

*yawnz*

hehe...sorry..can't help it..it is already past midnight..juz a sub-conscious behaviour..on a normal weekday..i would most prob be in bed le..sleeping soundly like a pig..not so tonight..cos it's a saturday night..and it's Kiu's birthday! i have to say this..tink our surprise party for him was really quite a success..unless he was bluffing me to make me feel happy..

the whole plan was changed at least 3 times i tink..dun worry Kenny..not going to blame you for leaking out the meeting place..cos everything went smoothly in the end..no worries..no need to feel guilty kz..it's alright..=) was tinking bout whether to explain our plan here..but realised it is too complicated to be put down into words..so its alright..anyone reading this..juz need to get tis fact..we succeeded! =D

meeting up with you guys really make me realised how much i miss HTG outings..miss the fun of pure messing around..lazing around..doing nothing but talk crap..reminds me of the days when we mugged together for Prelims and A levels..looking back..it seems so far away! we can't even remember when was the last time we were troubled over tests..and we have already recieved letters from uni for admissions..time flies..sighz..

saw YC and Kenny botak for the 1st time tonight..heyz..its not that bad la..they acty look quite good..and i'm surprised YC acty dun wear cap..but then again..it's not a must to..it's an option..guess Kiu and YC belong to the same category who see no need in wearing the cap..while Kenny and Timothy belongs to the group..who will wear a cap when they go out during their weekend book out..no matter wat..juz wanna let you guys knoe..it doesn't matter whether you wear a cap..you will still be you..looking great in your own ways..yeah? =)

Yuanting is havin a real bad cough wor..acty not only her..YC, Kenny and Kiu are also heard coughing while we were at Kiu's hse juz now..Tekong cough..something all NS men can't escape from..take care wor...we muz remain healthy to achieve the things we want in life..without health..dreams will only remain as dreams..cos we wun have the energy to fulfil them..drink more water everyone..dun fall victim to the viruses out there..

hmmm..running out of inspirations for things to say le..shall stop here..if not wat you read on will juz be crap from me again..once again..wanna say..Happy (belated) birthday! stay happy everyone!

shuqin | 12:22 AM

heyoz pple! i'm hyper today..happy happy day! =D seems like a long time since i felt so happy..and it feels real..doesn't feel like that kinda of happiness that will fade away as the day goes by..praying and hoping hard that everything will go smoothly at work today..that no shipments will go wrong and me able to go home on time without worries about cargo not being ready..hehe..realised i always talk using terms from work..not sure if you guys understand my crap at times..but it doesn't really matter..everyone's job different in their own ways..

hmmm..have the urge to write about birthday celebrations here..shd be safe la hor? dun tink the person will get to read the post before we hav the surprise for him..we are supposed to reach his hse before he does lor..feels excited about it..cos it is the 1st time i am planning a birthday surprise for someone wor..hopes it turns out to be a success..but now..the most crucial qn is..will the birthday boy appear in Singapore tomolo?!?! hopefully he is not that stubborn and silly as to wanna spend the last few hours of his birthday in Tekong alone..hehe..wonder if he will scold me behind my back for saying all this bout him when he really does read this..too bad!

finally..HTG gonna meet again! but then again..it's dependent on *ahem*..if he refuses to come out..all plans will be spoilt..and we'll all be so sad..not easy coordinating a meetup wor..especially when the gals are busy at work and the guys busy in NS..appreciate our efforts kz..gonna see Kenny and Yaochen with super short hair..hehe..wonder how will they look like..i gonna take a photo when we meet! A photo with 4 botak LTG members..hehe..i'm evil! =p

oh yah..by now..most of you shd hav known..i'm accepted by NTU business school le! recieved letter from them le! so so so happy! yippee! at least my future looks more certain now..time to start looking for bank loans to finance my studies..sigh..troublesome leh..hmmm..yuanting went for her Mass Comm interview yesterday..let's wait for good news from her..till then..see ya guys and gals on Sat! =) (hopefully..gotta make sure that guy gets himself out of Tekong tomolo night)

shuqin | 1:05 PM

hey ppl..seems like everyone's so busy and stressed..isn't it? :(

work's never good..sometimes i also wonder why i'm willing to shou4 qi4 just for a miserable sum of money..not like i will die without it. also tried putting myself in my surveyees' shoes..and i seriously dun find anything wrong with spending a few minutes answering a few questions or directly rejecting it if they're really not interested. they think that we're out to bug them or something. come on la, this is singapore. you know you have the freedom to reject a small survey, surely? most of them sound like i owe them money la. hey i'm working also, if you have the consideration to think. how you expect me to know what big things you're having at that moment? who knows, if we do know you're busy or free at that moment, you'll sue us on account of infringing privacy or divulging confidential information. sheesh! stupid singaporeans.

realised all my proper jobs revolve around singaporeans and govt. sigh. what a misfortune. i just hate the mindset of the older generation la. grumpy, can't be bothered, don't think further. like, hello we're trying to improve our service here! and you're complaining?! how hard to please are they? the younger generation are very obviously different. got one guy acty joked just to help me destress. so sweet right. ya but that's just a rare side of the job. most of the time express stress right after i end the call. acty everyone does. how bad can that be la.

wow is this an afterwork destressing station? i won't mind if it's the case acty. everyone's stressed! arghh..

Pebbles | 10:20 PM

the time has come wor..now even Kenny and Yaochen are in NS le..time passed rather fast...and i'm feeling rather bad...too busy during the past 3 weeks..din even get to see them before they shave botak..and seems like i missed out on the fun of painting Chaneng's room...Argh..really "pek cek" these 3 weeks...work juz keep on piling...never seems to be able to clear..no matter how hard i try and the many OT i have done...really could not take it yest..cried in office le...cos it was after work...yet pple were calling to tell me that things have gone wrong...but it was not my responsibility! i did my job...i finished arranging what i had to before the cut-off time...it was the factory and sales pple that made mistakes..yet i was always the one clearing up the mess..tried very hard to control my emotions le..but the tears still flowed...Argh..hated the me at that time...y did i have to let my colleagues see me break down..but i gotta admit...i did feel much better after crying it out...din know i was so stressed out by work these few weeks...guessed it got me so "pek cek" cos i felt that i was not obliged to sacrifice so much for work...tink i yearned too much for my freedom..now i dread monday...

okie..maybe i shd not even complain? cos my workload is not considered the most heavy among my colleagues...and according to my colleague...being there for 3 months plus..i shd be able to handle this workload with ease...and looking at how my "shifu" managed to cope with a workload 5 times mine....there's nothing i shd complain about...but i hate this feeling! i hate this feeling of having everything dumped on me...forcing me to grow up when i'm so not ready and unwilling! 3+ months there..and u pple call me senior in the dept.....it was not by my choice! i could have remained the 2nd youngest..if only the others had not left..there's so much changes within the past 3 mths! i had to adapt...pple left pple came...and i had to guide and help others when i myself was still not settled...and even more pple are leaving now...another 2 this month...wat's wrong?! i dunno..now i'm waiting...for wed to come...if my colleague still dun come back from her leave..i dunno if i can still hang on....

sorry pple...juz had to vent the frustrations i had in me...i tot i had it all in control..but when i see documents piling in my in tray waiting for me to clear..mailbox exploding each day..table covered in a mess of papers at the end of a day's work..so much work undone..it juz gets discouraging..i'm trying! but i still can't do it to the best..argh! remain positive..kiu told me that in chat juz now...i'm trying...if not i wud hav broke down even earlier...i'm losing my patience...i want back my freedom! i want my time to spend it with you guys and my family! it's such a miserable feeling..having to wake up so sleepy..reach home so late...hav dinner alone when the dishes are already cold..miss the tv shows..when its all cos you have to finish other's pple work...

sigh...thanks guys..if you guys has read till here..i'm sorry for making you read thru 3 paragraphs of non-stop complaints...i know la...i have to accept what comes my way...can't escape..work has to be done..if not they will juz keep piling up..all i ask for is some time for me to take a breathe..not push me so hard..haiz...nvm...i'll strive on...after all..it's supposedly another 2 more days only...

suddenly had this tot today...we should all accept who we are and who others are for being their true self..no use forcing them to change for ur sake...and we shd not change juz cos pple expect us to be another person...if they can't accept us for who we are..then be it..there shd be lots more pple out there who are willing to accept us for the way we are..and the same theory applies to the way we treat others...if you dun want to be forced to change..then dun force others to change for your sake! hmmm...i admit..i'm still a failure in the latter..maybe i'm half a perfectionist? i have high expectations of pple...and i expect them to meet these criteria of mine..i want frens to be truthful to be about things..when i can't tell them the whole truth at times...i get pissed off...when i feel that they are hiding things from me...not that i dunno everyone got their own privacy and secrets..but aiya...i juz demand that of pple lor...i'm guilty as charged..but already trying to change this tinking of mine le..so sorry pple..will control my temper in future kz...will try to be even more understanding than now...

pple say i'm too nice at times...but to me..it's no harm wat..if it doesn't cost me anything...and it will help to bring a little happiness to others...i'm most willing to help...dun deny also..sometimes i end up getting myself into trouble..abit of "zi zuo zi shou" lor...wat to do...wat to say...once tot of giving up..stop volunteering to help...but realised it's sometimes harder to reject pple in need than to solve the problems that arise due to my own "helpfulness"...dunno la..y are we faced with so much choices?! i know my own weaknesses ah..being too soft-hearted is one big 1...that's y its so hard to reject pple who need help? that's y if you apologise...i'll pretend nothing happen and still remains frens with you? not that i'm not afraid of getting hurt once more...told you i'm stupid...always get myself into trouble only...not that kind that will avoid the same situation at all course after being hurt once...sometimes more than once le...still willing to try again...stupid right? kinda hate tis me at times...wonder if i got double character(dunno how to spell that cheem word)....cos there's always the internal struggle..between letting myself be hurt once more and building that wall ard myself...sometimes even i myself get confused..dunno wat i really want...

my colleague asked me once...wat's my new year resolution for 2005...i was stunned...cos i dunno of any..the one i had before release of results was obviously to score well and be able to get into uni..then now..wat shd it be? seems so aimless leh...haiz...but i know wat i want in my bf next time...after looking at so many lucky couples from workplace..i told myself..i want a guy who teng2 me more than i love him...my fren says i'm impractical...where to find such a guy in this age...but i believe...there will be such a guy out there? hopefully i'm not silly having an impractical dream here...

haha..talked lotsa crap hor..somehow the above juz came to my mind lor..then i juz wrote them down..nothing in particular..but i dun deny it's all tots triggered by things that happened to me...still find growing up a torture..life is so contradicting in itself...sigh...lastly..to all LTG members...we know NS life is tough...hang on kz! looking forward to seeing you guys and gals soon...=)

shuqin | 12:26 AM

yo guys! my previous entry was incinerated cos my com crashed. now i'm back 6 hrs later.. hopefully it dun crash this time..

been relief teaching at ajc this past week. yes u heard me rite. Anderson Junior College. got this job thru a recommendation of a classmate, and cos he doesnt wan another classmate to find out that he recommended me instead of her i was told not to blog abt it. dumb rite? so most prob my own blog wun be updated for eons.. but anw, back to ajc. so what am i teaching? Chemistry. A level Chemistry. and i found out that in order to be able to teach well, u must have an intimate grasp of your concepts. i'm starting to think that perhaps i shdnt haf deserved that A for my chem.. haha. and cos im relieving a teacher on her maternity leave, which means i'm taking over all her duties; i'm also a form teacher, or wad they call PD tutor. (dun ask me what pd means, i also dunno.) things were relatively mundane at the beginning, but then things started gg haywire when i started to teach...

ok let's see. shall share wif u all a profoundly embarassing incident that happened last fri. i walked into class preparing to give an overview for rxn kinetics. and i started to show them the graphs they need to know for all e various whatever order rxns.. and u know wad?! i drew the rate vs [A] graph for 2nd order rxn wrongly!! to tim n yt, it basically means i screwed up big time. furthermore at that point the bell rang and i had to let them off for their next class le. whuich means that entire class will be spending their weekend thinking :"damn i haf a sucky relief teacher for chem who's gonna be here till the end of e term and i'm gonna fail my common test man.." i foresee myself already bein condemned to the "relief teachers who cant teach" category..

actually, i was extremely flustered during that lesson.. why? cos during the chem lecture b4 that, one of my students from my form class had 'fits' and was brot to e sickbay. so being the form teacher i had to be there to take charge of things. thankfully there were other teachers ard to guide me or else i wld haf been at a loss. this guy basically lost control of his muscles and so was trembling all over and his fists was clenched. but he could still manage to talk.. and he demanded that we dun call his parents cos he didnt wanna let them worry. but the admin person went to call his mum anyway and she came down to bring him home. i did manage to talk to him personally.. and guess wat? he said that this problem aint physical.. and he started to share abt how he dun fit in w e rest, and feel rejected and unappreciated by his classmates etc etc. and so the more he thot abt this(during the lecture), the more agitated he became, and that translated into the outward expression of 'fits'. acty it wasnt really fits cos this wasnt life threatening and he was conscious, but it was rather scary anyway. i told the mum abt it and persuaded her to bring him to the doc, even tho he kept insisting that he was alright.. den from their conversation i could guess that the father is a drinker and usually treats the son rather harshly when he gets drunk, but i didnt hear any mention of physical abuse so that's a relief in a sense.

sigh. i had to grow up rather quickly in a space of a few hours.. i wonder if the mother realises i'm only 18.. yah so basically i wasnt able to teach after that incident, and i really felt that e class had wasted their time trying to understand me, and i feel so bad abt it.. dunno if im able to regain their respect again.. and its really sad bcos my 1st lesson wif them started on a high note.. i liked them and they liked me and they paid attention during the lesson (which was basic chem bonding) so i tot this class was e best out of the e 3. oh yah btw e classes i'm teaching are 11/05, 22/05 and 28/05. 11 is my form class and and 22 is the one i screwed up my lesson wif.. and i gotta teach them till end of may sia.. extended one more month cos the teacher is extending her leave.. wonder how my students will react to that piece of news. sheesh.

sorry i spammed so much here.. cant talk abt this on my own blog... argh. okok change topic.. ill stop whining now. ken n yc went over the sea to their island paradise last week. haha. hope they're doin well in there.. once their confinement over we must go out ok?! haha... and stg will try to stage an overnite in the meantime. i've got my own (very yellow) room now yay! my bro is banished to the outskirts of singapore (acty no lar he's staying in e dining room now) so i've got much more breathing space now phew. oh yea many thanks to ken who slogged so hard to help me paint my room. and also to yt who helped clean up. it was rather fun tho.. ken was saying if possible next time shd get the whole htg to paint a room. den i said it wld take one whole day to finish it cos mayhem wld break out. haha.. but seriously i dun mind doin it agn.. who wants to paint their room?? hahaha..

wah siao this is a very long entry. haha ok la shall stop here.. hope to meet up wif u guys soon eh? meanwhile take care every one!!

chan eng.charis | 7:51 PM

hmmm..tink i'm weird..blogging 2 entries within the same day.....but this entry is triggered by wat i saw on my fren's blog..

sometimes really dunno wat is it that we as human wants...y does it seems like we never learn to cherish wat we hav until we lose it? is it really that diff to show others wat is it that we really want?deep down inside..we know we dun wanna lose wat we hav...but our behaviours always speak otherwise...we forget that wat we dun like..others probably dun like it too...

couples in love...yearn for each other when they are apart..but why is it that they can't be happy when together? y is it that sometimes when we hav already given in....we still can't get the minimum we ask for?understanding and trust...the basic building blocks in a relationship...seems like some couples are still lacking in them..juz wanna tell all couples out there..if u really treasure each other..dun be stingy with courtesy words such as "sorry" and "thank you"...nothing shd be taken for granted...the same applies to pple...fate brought u pple together..dun let it go to waste..

sometimes...life is juz so unfair...things are lost even when you try ur best to protect them......

shuqin | 11:45 PM

heyz! 2 weeks never see you guys le! time is running out..yaochen and kenny going army le..aiyo..1st time i hear from a guy that he is excited and looking forward to enlistment..kenny..u are 1 unique fellow..had such a busy week..been missing the 9pm show for 4 weekday nights...working OT for 3 of the nights...den went to buy my niece's present with my sis on thurs...today is my niece's birthday wor! had a great time seeing the innocent children play...if only we could turn back time...

hmmm..wonder if i will be able to find some time next week before de remaining 2 LTG members go to army...was tinking of asking you guys out for dinner one of the weekdays next week..but hor..need to see my schedule also..work now is so unpredictable..may need to OT at the last minute..was tinking of asking you pple out on either tues or wed..anyone interested in watching "The Eye 10" with me? please?!? i heard that it's worth watching..both a comedy and horror movie..STG???if u all dun mind..i was tinking watch at Princess..cheap cheap..

eh..some times..juz has the tots running thru my head..had some juz now..wanted to write them down in the blog..now hor..abit forgotten le..think some of them was triggered when i entered the blog and saw the neoprints..reminded of the happy times we had together..when everything was still in place..hmmm..really miss those days..de one good thing bout photos..they capture the moment of happiness...something that cannot be reproduce no matter how we try...

sometimes it works the opposite way...the harder you try at times...the more things won't go your way..that's y they always say the harder you try to forget..the more the memories will stay to haunt you...sometimes.....juz leaving the memories at the back of the head might result in fading of these memories instead..wonder if we really want to forget at times...good or bad...it was something we lived thru...so contradicting!

shuqin | 11:02 PM

"Friendship often ends in love; but love in friendship - never."

"A friend is one who believes in you when you have ceased to believe in yourself."

"Never explain--your friends do not need it, and your enemies will not believe you anyway."
Thanks for always believing in me.. =)

"A blessed thing it is for any man or woman to have a friend, one human soul whom we can trust utterly, who knows the best and worst of us, and who loves us in spite of all our faults."

"With true friends...even water drunk together is sweet enough."
Hey guys..think of us when drinking Tekong water..=P


"A friend is someone who stays in when the rest of the world has gone out."

"A friend is someone who dances with you in the sunlight, and walks with you in the shadows."

"In the end, we will remember not the words of our enemies, but the silence of our friends."

"True friendship is like sound health, the value of it is seldom known until it be lost."
Pple take care wor..so that nothing will be lost..

"Of what shall a man be proud, if he is not proud of his friends."
That’s why I’m so proud to have you guys as friends. =D

"Our friends show us what we can do; our enemies teach us what we must do."

"There is no friend like an old friend who has shared our morning days, no greeting like his welcome, no homage like his praise."
So..we should have chalets and stayovers more often..so that we can share more morning days together!

"The difficulty is not so great to die for a friend, as to find a friend worth dying for."
I know that i will die with no regrets for i have come to know you guys..

At the shrine of friendship never say die, let the wine of friendship never run dry."

riendship is like money, easier made than kept."
i’m so glad we managed to keep our friendship going after 4 years..=D

shuqin | 1:18 PM

kenny! you really so scared of stg ar? haha. we are but only sotongs. we know not on purpose one la k..won't blame you one. in fact the revised plan had a better effect..rite, ppl? hehe..yup muz agree had a nice time ytd..listening to all the army talk. sounds so complicated but all guys seem to know it..so i guess it's just stuff that you'll just know when you're in it. like all the jargon we have at work too :D

i guess it's not that we choose to slog at work la. but that really is your job ma. like it or not, it's that volume. die oso muz clear wad..otherwise quit lo. which might not work in some cases cos of contract, ya. so not really within our control.

i stopped here last night. cos i was TOO TIRED. date and time now is 250405, 11:14pm.

of cos, i still am tired now. so i can't recall what i wanted to say. well, some things are better left unsaid, as recommended by LTG!

nice post by sq! though i've most definitely read it somewhere in my emails or sthg. still, never fails to erm..lose its meaningfulness everytime.

argh! i'm not making sense. nites world!

Pebbles | 11:53 PM

*yawnz*

hehe...sorry..can't help it..it is already past midnight..juz a sub-conscious behaviour..on a normal weekday..i would most prob be in bed le..sleeping soundly like a pig..not so tonight..cos it's a saturday night..and it's Kiu's birthday! i have to say this..tink our surprise party for him was really quite a success..unless he was bluffing me to make me feel happy..

the whole plan was changed at least 3 times i tink..dun worry Kenny..not going to blame you for leaking out the meeting place..cos everything went smoothly in the end..no worries..no need to feel guilty kz..it's alright..=) was tinking bout whether to explain our plan here..but realised it is too complicated to be put down into words..so its alright..anyone reading this..juz need to get tis fact..we succeeded! =D

meeting up with you guys really make me realised how much i miss HTG outings..miss the fun of pure messing around..lazing around..doing nothing but talk crap..reminds me of the days when we mugged together for Prelims and A levels..looking back..it seems so far away! we can't even remember when was the last time we were troubled over tests..and we have already recieved letters from uni for admissions..time flies..sighz..

saw YC and Kenny botak for the 1st time tonight..heyz..its not that bad la..they acty look quite good..and i'm surprised YC acty dun wear cap..but then again..it's not a must to..it's an option..guess Kiu and YC belong to the same category who see no need in wearing the cap..while Kenny and Timothy belongs to the group..who will wear a cap when they go out during their weekend book out..no matter wat..juz wanna let you guys knoe..it doesn't matter whether you wear a cap..you will still be you..looking great in your own ways..yeah? =)

Yuanting is havin a real bad cough wor..acty not only her..YC, Kenny and Kiu are also heard coughing while we were at Kiu's hse juz now..Tekong cough..something all NS men can't escape from..take care wor...we muz remain healthy to achieve the things we want in life..without health..dreams will only remain as dreams..cos we wun have the energy to fulfil them..drink more water everyone..dun fall victim to the viruses out there..

hmmm..running out of inspirations for things to say le..shall stop here..if not wat you read on will juz be crap from me again..once again..wanna say..Happy (belated) birthday! stay happy everyone!

shuqin | 12:22 AM

heyoz pple! i'm hyper today..happy happy day! =D seems like a long time since i felt so happy..and it feels real..doesn't feel like that kinda of happiness that will fade away as the day goes by..praying and hoping hard that everything will go smoothly at work today..that no shipments will go wrong and me able to go home on time without worries about cargo not being ready..hehe..realised i always talk using terms from work..not sure if you guys understand my crap at times..but it doesn't really matter..everyone's job different in their own ways..

hmmm..have the urge to write about birthday celebrations here..shd be safe la hor? dun tink the person will get to read the post before we hav the surprise for him..we are supposed to reach his hse before he does lor..feels excited about it..cos it is the 1st time i am planning a birthday surprise for someone wor..hopes it turns out to be a success..but now..the most crucial qn is..will the birthday boy appear in Singapore tomolo?!?! hopefully he is not that stubborn and silly as to wanna spend the last few hours of his birthday in Tekong alone..hehe..wonder if he will scold me behind my back for saying all this bout him when he really does read this..too bad!

finally..HTG gonna meet again! but then again..it's dependent on *ahem*..if he refuses to come out..all plans will be spoilt..and we'll all be so sad..not easy coordinating a meetup wor..especially when the gals are busy at work and the guys busy in NS..appreciate our efforts kz..gonna see Kenny and Yaochen with super short hair..hehe..wonder how will they look like..i gonna take a photo when we meet! A photo with 4 botak LTG members..hehe..i'm evil! =p

oh yah..by now..most of you shd hav known..i'm accepted by NTU business school le! recieved letter from them le! so so so happy! yippee! at least my future looks more certain now..time to start looking for bank loans to finance my studies..sigh..troublesome leh..hmmm..yuanting went for her Mass Comm interview yesterday..let's wait for good news from her..till then..see ya guys and gals on Sat! =) (hopefully..gotta make sure that guy gets himself out of Tekong tomolo night)

shuqin | 1:05 PM

hey ppl..seems like everyone's so busy and stressed..isn't it? :(

work's never good..sometimes i also wonder why i'm willing to shou4 qi4 just for a miserable sum of money..not like i will die without it. also tried putting myself in my surveyees' shoes..and i seriously dun find anything wrong with spending a few minutes answering a few questions or directly rejecting it if they're really not interested. they think that we're out to bug them or something. come on la, this is singapore. you know you have the freedom to reject a small survey, surely? most of them sound like i owe them money la. hey i'm working also, if you have the consideration to think. how you expect me to know what big things you're having at that moment? who knows, if we do know you're busy or free at that moment, you'll sue us on account of infringing privacy or divulging confidential information. sheesh! stupid singaporeans.

realised all my proper jobs revolve around singaporeans and govt. sigh. what a misfortune. i just hate the mindset of the older generation la. grumpy, can't be bothered, don't think further. like, hello we're trying to improve our service here! and you're complaining?! how hard to please are they? the younger generation are very obviously different. got one guy acty joked just to help me destress. so sweet right. ya but that's just a rare side of the job. most of the time express stress right after i end the call. acty everyone does. how bad can that be la.

wow is this an afterwork destressing station? i won't mind if it's the case acty. everyone's stressed! arghh..

Pebbles | 10:20 PM

the time has come wor..now even Kenny and Yaochen are in NS le..time passed rather fast...and i'm feeling rather bad...too busy during the past 3 weeks..din even get to see them before they shave botak..and seems like i missed out on the fun of painting Chaneng's room...Argh..really "pek cek" these 3 weeks...work juz keep on piling...never seems to be able to clear..no matter how hard i try and the many OT i have done...really could not take it yest..cried in office le...cos it was after work...yet pple were calling to tell me that things have gone wrong...but it was not my responsibility! i did my job...i finished arranging what i had to before the cut-off time...it was the factory and sales pple that made mistakes..yet i was always the one clearing up the mess..tried very hard to control my emotions le..but the tears still flowed...Argh..hated the me at that time...y did i have to let my colleagues see me break down..but i gotta admit...i did feel much better after crying it out...din know i was so stressed out by work these few weeks...guessed it got me so "pek cek" cos i felt that i was not obliged to sacrifice so much for work...tink i yearned too much for my freedom..now i dread monday...

okie..maybe i shd not even complain? cos my workload is not considered the most heavy among my colleagues...and according to my colleague...being there for 3 months plus..i shd be able to handle this workload with ease...and looking at how my "shifu" managed to cope with a workload 5 times mine....there's nothing i shd complain about...but i hate this feeling! i hate this feeling of having everything dumped on me...forcing me to grow up when i'm so not ready and unwilling! 3+ months there..and u pple call me senior in the dept.....it was not by my choice! i could have remained the 2nd youngest..if only the others had not left..there's so much changes within the past 3 mths! i had to adapt...pple left pple came...and i had to guide and help others when i myself was still not settled...and even more pple are leaving now...another 2 this month...wat's wrong?! i dunno..now i'm waiting...for wed to come...if my colleague still dun come back from her leave..i dunno if i can still hang on....

sorry pple...juz had to vent the frustrations i had in me...i tot i had it all in control..but when i see documents piling in my in tray waiting for me to clear..mailbox exploding each day..table covered in a mess of papers at the end of a day's work..so much work undone..it juz gets discouraging..i'm trying! but i still can't do it to the best..argh! remain positive..kiu told me that in chat juz now...i'm trying...if not i wud hav broke down even earlier...i'm losing my patience...i want back my freedom! i want my time to spend it with you guys and my family! it's such a miserable feeling..having to wake up so sleepy..reach home so late...hav dinner alone when the dishes are already cold..miss the tv shows..when its all cos you have to finish other's pple work...

sigh...thanks guys..if you guys has read till here..i'm sorry for making you read thru 3 paragraphs of non-stop complaints...i know la...i have to accept what comes my way...can't escape..work has to be done..if not they will juz keep piling up..all i ask for is some time for me to take a breathe..not push me so hard..haiz...nvm...i'll strive on...after all..it's supposedly another 2 more days only...

suddenly had this tot today...we should all accept who we are and who others are for being their true self..no use forcing them to change for ur sake...and we shd not change juz cos pple expect us to be another person...if they can't accept us for who we are..then be it..there shd be lots more pple out there who are willing to accept us for the way we are..and the same theory applies to the way we treat others...if you dun want to be forced to change..then dun force others to change for your sake! hmmm...i admit..i'm still a failure in the latter..maybe i'm half a perfectionist? i have high expectations of pple...and i expect them to meet these criteria of mine..i want frens to be truthful to be about things..when i can't tell them the whole truth at times...i get pissed off...when i feel that they are hiding things from me...not that i dunno everyone got their own privacy and secrets..but aiya...i juz demand that of pple lor...i'm guilty as charged..but already trying to change this tinking of mine le..so sorry pple..will control my temper in future kz...will try to be even more understanding than now...

pple say i'm too nice at times...but to me..it's no harm wat..if it doesn't cost me anything...and it will help to bring a little happiness to others...i'm most willing to help...dun deny also..sometimes i end up getting myself into trouble..abit of "zi zuo zi shou" lor...wat to do...wat to say...once tot of giving up..stop volunteering to help...but realised it's sometimes harder to reject pple in need than to solve the problems that arise due to my own "helpfulness"...dunno la..y are we faced with so much choices?! i know my own weaknesses ah..being too soft-hearted is one big 1...that's y its so hard to reject pple who need help? that's y if you apologise...i'll pretend nothing happen and still remains frens with you? not that i'm not afraid of getting hurt once more...told you i'm stupid...always get myself into trouble only...not that kind that will avoid the same situation at all course after being hurt once...sometimes more than once le...still willing to try again...stupid right? kinda hate tis me at times...wonder if i got double character(dunno how to spell that cheem word)....cos there's always the internal struggle..between letting myself be hurt once more and building that wall ard myself...sometimes even i myself get confused..dunno wat i really want...

my colleague asked me once...wat's my new year resolution for 2005...i was stunned...cos i dunno of any..the one i had before release of results was obviously to score well and be able to get into uni..then now..wat shd it be? seems so aimless leh...haiz...but i know wat i want in my bf next time...after looking at so many lucky couples from workplace..i told myself..i want a guy who teng2 me more than i love him...my fren says i'm impractical...where to find such a guy in this age...but i believe...there will be such a guy out there? hopefully i'm not silly having an impractical dream here...

haha..talked lotsa crap hor..somehow the above juz came to my mind lor..then i juz wrote them down..nothing in particular..but i dun deny it's all tots triggered by things that happened to me...still find growing up a torture..life is so contradicting in itself...sigh...lastly..to all LTG members...we know NS life is tough...hang on kz! looking forward to seeing you guys and gals soon...=)

shuqin | 12:26 AM

yo guys! my previous entry was incinerated cos my com crashed. now i'm back 6 hrs later.. hopefully it dun crash this time..

been relief teaching at ajc this past week. yes u heard me rite. Anderson Junior College. got this job thru a recommendation of a classmate, and cos he doesnt wan another classmate to find out that he recommended me instead of her i was told not to blog abt it. dumb rite? so most prob my own blog wun be updated for eons.. but anw, back to ajc. so what am i teaching? Chemistry. A level Chemistry. and i found out that in order to be able to teach well, u must have an intimate grasp of your concepts. i'm starting to think that perhaps i shdnt haf deserved that A for my chem.. haha. and cos im relieving a teacher on her maternity leave, which means i'm taking over all her duties; i'm also a form teacher, or wad they call PD tutor. (dun ask me what pd means, i also dunno.) things were relatively mundane at the beginning, but then things started gg haywire when i started to teach...

ok let's see. shall share wif u all a profoundly embarassing incident that happened last fri. i walked into class preparing to give an overview for rxn kinetics. and i started to show them the graphs they need to know for all e various whatever order rxns.. and u know wad?! i drew the rate vs [A] graph for 2nd order rxn wrongly!! to tim n yt, it basically means i screwed up big time. furthermore at that point the bell rang and i had to let them off for their next class le. whuich means that entire class will be spending their weekend thinking :"damn i haf a sucky relief teacher for chem who's gonna be here till the end of e term and i'm gonna fail my common test man.." i foresee myself already bein condemned to the "relief teachers who cant teach" category..

actually, i was extremely flustered during that lesson.. why? cos during the chem lecture b4 that, one of my students from my form class had 'fits' and was brot to e sickbay. so being the form teacher i had to be there to take charge of things. thankfully there were other teachers ard to guide me or else i wld haf been at a loss. this guy basically lost control of his muscles and so was trembling all over and his fists was clenched. but he could still manage to talk.. and he demanded that we dun call his parents cos he didnt wanna let them worry. but the admin person went to call his mum anyway and she came down to bring him home. i did manage to talk to him personally.. and guess wat? he said that this problem aint physical.. and he started to share abt how he dun fit in w e rest, and feel rejected and unappreciated by his classmates etc etc. and so the more he thot abt this(during the lecture), the more agitated he became, and that translated into the outward expression of 'fits'. acty it wasnt really fits cos this wasnt life threatening and he was conscious, but it was rather scary anyway. i told the mum abt it and persuaded her to bring him to the doc, even tho he kept insisting that he was alright.. den from their conversation i could guess that the father is a drinker and usually treats the son rather harshly when he gets drunk, but i didnt hear any mention of physical abuse so that's a relief in a sense.

sigh. i had to grow up rather quickly in a space of a few hours.. i wonder if the mother realises i'm only 18.. yah so basically i wasnt able to teach after that incident, and i really felt that e class had wasted their time trying to understand me, and i feel so bad abt it.. dunno if im able to regain their respect again.. and its really sad bcos my 1st lesson wif them started on a high note.. i liked them and they liked me and they paid attention during the lesson (which was basic chem bonding) so i tot this class was e best out of the e 3. oh yah btw e classes i'm teaching are 11/05, 22/05 and 28/05. 11 is my form class and and 22 is the one i screwed up my lesson wif.. and i gotta teach them till end of may sia.. extended one more month cos the teacher is extending her leave.. wonder how my students will react to that piece of news. sheesh.

sorry i spammed so much here.. cant talk abt this on my own blog... argh. okok change topic.. ill stop whining now. ken n yc went over the sea to their island paradise last week. haha. hope they're doin well in there.. once their confinement over we must go out ok?! haha... and stg will try to stage an overnite in the meantime. i've got my own (very yellow) room now yay! my bro is banished to the outskirts of singapore (acty no lar he's staying in e dining room now) so i've got much more breathing space now phew. oh yea many thanks to ken who slogged so hard to help me paint my room. and also to yt who helped clean up. it was rather fun tho.. ken was saying if possible next time shd get the whole htg to paint a room. den i said it wld take one whole day to finish it cos mayhem wld break out. haha.. but seriously i dun mind doin it agn.. who wants to paint their room?? hahaha..

wah siao this is a very long entry. haha ok la shall stop here.. hope to meet up wif u guys soon eh? meanwhile take care every one!!

chan eng.charis | 7:51 PM

hmmm..tink i'm weird..blogging 2 entries within the same day.....but this entry is triggered by wat i saw on my fren's blog..

sometimes really dunno wat is it that we as human wants...y does it seems like we never learn to cherish wat we hav until we lose it? is it really that diff to show others wat is it that we really want?deep down inside..we know we dun wanna lose wat we hav...but our behaviours always speak otherwise...we forget that wat we dun like..others probably dun like it too...

couples in love...yearn for each other when they are apart..but why is it that they can't be happy when together? y is it that sometimes when we hav already given in....we still can't get the minimum we ask for?understanding and trust...the basic building blocks in a relationship...seems like some couples are still lacking in them..juz wanna tell all couples out there..if u really treasure each other..dun be stingy with courtesy words such as "sorry" and "thank you"...nothing shd be taken for granted...the same applies to pple...fate brought u pple together..dun let it go to waste..

sometimes...life is juz so unfair...things are lost even when you try ur best to protect them......

shuqin | 11:45 PM

heyz! 2 weeks never see you guys le! time is running out..yaochen and kenny going army le..aiyo..1st time i hear from a guy that he is excited and looking forward to enlistment..kenny..u are 1 unique fellow..had such a busy week..been missing the 9pm show for 4 weekday nights...working OT for 3 of the nights...den went to buy my niece's present with my sis on thurs...today is my niece's birthday wor! had a great time seeing the innocent children play...if only we could turn back time...

hmmm..wonder if i will be able to find some time next week before de remaining 2 LTG members go to army...was tinking of asking you guys out for dinner one of the weekdays next week..but hor..need to see my schedule also..work now is so unpredictable..may need to OT at the last minute..was tinking of asking you pple out on either tues or wed..anyone interested in watching "The Eye 10" with me? please?!? i heard that it's worth watching..both a comedy and horror movie..STG???if u all dun mind..i was tinking watch at Princess..cheap cheap..

eh..some times..juz has the tots running thru my head..had some juz now..wanted to write them down in the blog..now hor..abit forgotten le..think some of them was triggered when i entered the blog and saw the neoprints..reminded of the happy times we had together..when everything was still in place..hmmm..really miss those days..de one good thing bout photos..they capture the moment of happiness...something that cannot be reproduce no matter how we try...

sometimes it works the opposite way...the harder you try at times...the more things won't go your way..that's y they always say the harder you try to forget..the more the memories will stay to haunt you...sometimes.....juz leaving the memories at the back of the head might result in fading of these memories instead..wonder if we really want to forget at times...good or bad...it was something we lived thru...so contradicting!

shuqin | 11:02 PM