sigh..it happened again..kz..maybe its less traumatising this time..cos i do not know the person personally..but looking at the sad faces ard me..reminds me of how we all looked on july 26 last yr..i remember at tat time..i told myself..i dun wanna go thru the pain of losing a fren again..yet we lost someone again..fragility of life..

how irony..25 Aug..birthday of a senior..yet it has also become the death anniversary of another..can't imagine the feeling of the birthday boy..he looks ok..but deep down within..i tink he's probably not feeling too good..argh..the mood is so solemn now..

can't really put my tots into words now..juz wanna say..hey pple..take care kz..nothing is too much..and if things are really bad..it means its not the worst..always remember we'll be there for you..miss ya guys..love ya guys..

shuqin | 2:46 AM

hiz all..blogging in my hostel room on a sat afternoon at 1.45pm..gonna go home after this..not supposed to be here acty..cos i was supposed to go for the WSC RSPID thingie at some home in Bukit Timah..but i'm too tired and lazy to go..after the hall ball last night..

Life in NTU is happening..mostly thanks to the fact that i am staying in hall..with alot of hall events going on every week..not sure if this will cont for the rest of the sem..or is it juz bcos it is the beginning of sch term..when pple are more free to organise events and settle admin stuff such as choosing new committees to cont leading us..

gotta say perceptions changed alot..met many kinds of pple in NTU..as time goes by..i start to realise that things dun really seem wat they are at times..lotsa changes..politics?not sure though..gotta admit that uni provides exposure to many more diff kind of guys out there..among my guy seniors..there are those that feels like frens..and those that feels like a big bro too..really grateful to those that hav treated us as sisters..its a very overwhelming feeling acty..to have someone caring for you even though we are not couple related..the thoughtfulness..its really the small things added up that matters..no need for big actions..if u are sincere..we are able to feel it..

things are complicated..sometimes pple dun seem to be speaking their mind..no idea whether to believe wat they say..actions and words are different..i guess most of them are still at the uncertain stage..not sure wat kind of developments they want..and not sure of the outcome..afraid to face it?i'm more of an observant in these situations..choosing to believe that when the parties tell me sth..they mean it..but somehow uncertain bout my own judgement too..

guess i hav seen the other side of most pple..the side that is so diff from the way they act when in front of a big grp..conclusion is that most of them are kind at heart..things they do might be for some reasons..i prefer the personal side to them..its closer to heart..more sincere..and touching at times..

haha..it's quite a messy entry..i'm not exactly sure wat i am writing also..juz knoe that it is time for me to go home..tots are typed as they whizzed thru my mind..no organisation done..presented in the more real form..take care pple..miss u guys..long time since our last HTG meet up..no updates on how u pple are getting on..if u do see tis..do a favour?write a short entry..or juz tag on how have u all been...=)

shuqin | 1:47 PM

sigh..saddening day..never felt so small and useless before..are my interview skills that lousy..or am i lousy by myself..can't help but think tis way..cos i choose to tink that all seniors are just..dun tink they left me out on purpose..but y is it that i am not in any of the subcomms i applied for..

i know i am not outstanding..neither am i attractive..i juz wanna join the sub comms to earn my points to cont staying in hall next yr..i love hall 1..i love the seniors..the freshies..miss the fun we hav had together..y make me go thru 2 rounds of interviews when others only go thru it once..am i really that lousy??i really wanna join those sub comms i signed up for..i'm really interested in being a part of them..

feel so neglected..so disappointed..so discouraged..those who are already in subcomms ask me to cont trying at the 2nd round of recruitment..but they dunno the agony..who do i tell..and wat's the use..sigh..for the 1st time i feel so dejected ever since coming to hall..

y give me hope when all i get in return is disappointment...sigh..

shuqin | 2:40 AM

sigh..it happened again..kz..maybe its less traumatising this time..cos i do not know the person personally..but looking at the sad faces ard me..reminds me of how we all looked on july 26 last yr..i remember at tat time..i told myself..i dun wanna go thru the pain of losing a fren again..yet we lost someone again..fragility of life..

how irony..25 Aug..birthday of a senior..yet it has also become the death anniversary of another..can't imagine the feeling of the birthday boy..he looks ok..but deep down within..i tink he's probably not feeling too good..argh..the mood is so solemn now..

can't really put my tots into words now..juz wanna say..hey pple..take care kz..nothing is too much..and if things are really bad..it means its not the worst..always remember we'll be there for you..miss ya guys..love ya guys..

shuqin | 2:46 AM

hiz all..blogging in my hostel room on a sat afternoon at 1.45pm..gonna go home after this..not supposed to be here acty..cos i was supposed to go for the WSC RSPID thingie at some home in Bukit Timah..but i'm too tired and lazy to go..after the hall ball last night..

Life in NTU is happening..mostly thanks to the fact that i am staying in hall..with alot of hall events going on every week..not sure if this will cont for the rest of the sem..or is it juz bcos it is the beginning of sch term..when pple are more free to organise events and settle admin stuff such as choosing new committees to cont leading us..

gotta say perceptions changed alot..met many kinds of pple in NTU..as time goes by..i start to realise that things dun really seem wat they are at times..lotsa changes..politics?not sure though..gotta admit that uni provides exposure to many more diff kind of guys out there..among my guy seniors..there are those that feels like frens..and those that feels like a big bro too..really grateful to those that hav treated us as sisters..its a very overwhelming feeling acty..to have someone caring for you even though we are not couple related..the thoughtfulness..its really the small things added up that matters..no need for big actions..if u are sincere..we are able to feel it..

things are complicated..sometimes pple dun seem to be speaking their mind..no idea whether to believe wat they say..actions and words are different..i guess most of them are still at the uncertain stage..not sure wat kind of developments they want..and not sure of the outcome..afraid to face it?i'm more of an observant in these situations..choosing to believe that when the parties tell me sth..they mean it..but somehow uncertain bout my own judgement too..

guess i hav seen the other side of most pple..the side that is so diff from the way they act when in front of a big grp..conclusion is that most of them are kind at heart..things they do might be for some reasons..i prefer the personal side to them..its closer to heart..more sincere..and touching at times..

haha..it's quite a messy entry..i'm not exactly sure wat i am writing also..juz knoe that it is time for me to go home..tots are typed as they whizzed thru my mind..no organisation done..presented in the more real form..take care pple..miss u guys..long time since our last HTG meet up..no updates on how u pple are getting on..if u do see tis..do a favour?write a short entry..or juz tag on how have u all been...=)

shuqin | 1:47 PM

sigh..saddening day..never felt so small and useless before..are my interview skills that lousy..or am i lousy by myself..can't help but think tis way..cos i choose to tink that all seniors are just..dun tink they left me out on purpose..but y is it that i am not in any of the subcomms i applied for..

i know i am not outstanding..neither am i attractive..i juz wanna join the sub comms to earn my points to cont staying in hall next yr..i love hall 1..i love the seniors..the freshies..miss the fun we hav had together..y make me go thru 2 rounds of interviews when others only go thru it once..am i really that lousy??i really wanna join those sub comms i signed up for..i'm really interested in being a part of them..

feel so neglected..so disappointed..so discouraged..those who are already in subcomms ask me to cont trying at the 2nd round of recruitment..but they dunno the agony..who do i tell..and wat's the use..sigh..for the 1st time i feel so dejected ever since coming to hall..

y give me hope when all i get in return is disappointment...sigh..

shuqin | 2:40 AM